James Castle

When I came back in the room, old Phoebe had the pillow off her head alright, she started to ask me what I actually like about Pencey, there wasn't actually anything I could

Home at last

Figured I'd just sneak into my house. Had to blag my way in the lift, the sonuvabitch was asking so many dam questions. I finally got there and I got kinda nervous, I twisted the door handle gently and let myself in. I knew old Phoebe would be in her room asleep so I went in there. I saw a little dam note book, Phoebe had been practising her name, she hated her middle name so on the page she wrote "Phoebe Weatherfield Caulfield" that killed me. Phoebe was a very light sleeper so I knew she would wake up straight away. As soon as she sat up she flung her arms around me. I asked when Mum and Dad were gonna be back, she said they would be back but not till late, so at least I had some time and all. I told her about the record I bought her, but I broke it, she still wanted me to give her the pieces of it, she slipped them into her drawer, that dam near killed me. She was wearing little pyjamas with elephants on, she looked so good. Then she started to ask me why I was home already, she hates it when i get kicked out, I didn't know what to say. "You got kicked out" she yelled, goddamit i didn't know what to say. I told her they let me out early, but she wouldn't believe me. "Daddy'll kill you" she screamed and she put the goddam pillow over her head. I tried so dam hard to make her come out but she just wouldn't. When she has the pillow over her head like that, she won't come out, not for anyone.

getting pnuemonia?

So, after old Luce left, I started that old bullet game again, clutching my chest and hidind my hand under my coat to stop the blood, I was drunk as a bastard. I really wanted a drink with that Valencia babe but I thought that would never happen. I felt like giving old Jane Gallagher a buzz, but I was too drunk so phoned Sally instead. She knew I was drunk and didn't wanna talk, So I went into a bathroom and ran some cold water in the wash basin, then I dipped my head in way up to my ears. Then I just let the sonuvabitch drip. I went and sat on the bench outside, dam felt like i was catching pnuemonia or something I was so dam cold, I thought I was gonna die, the hunks of ice in my hair and all. I thought of my mother and father and how they would feel if I did die. So thought, to take my mind of the dying I would count my dough. Spent most of it straight after leaving Pencey so was a bit short. Then I started thinking of Phoebe, I really wanted to go home, I knew my parents would probably be out, so thats where I went.. Home.

Carl Luce

So I went to the whicker bar to meet old Carl, I was early so took a seat and waited. He was supposed to be my student advisor at Whooton but all he ever did was talk about sex. So in he came and I told him I'd saved him a flit at the end of the bar, he told me to shut up. I was dying to know about his sex life, so I asked how it was going, he told me he was with this girl from Shanghai, he said he preferred the Middle Eastern philosophy, more like the goddam sex. He told me to keep it down, suppose I got a bit goddam excited about the fact she was Chinese. He told me his Dad took a course on psycoanalysing and that maybe I should see him, sonuvabitch, who is he to tell me that. In the end I think he got pretty goddam sore with all my questions and told me he was going, I tried to make him stay, but dam I wasn't gonna beg.

Dream of escaping..

I saw Sally coming down the stairs, she was ten minutes late, but she looked terrific. She asked if she was late, but I told her no even though I had been stood here alone for ten minutes. I told her we were going to see the Lunts. We horsed about a bit in the cap, at first she didn't want to because of her lip stick but I was being seductive as hell so she didn't have a choice. When we were coming out of this big clinch, I told her I loved her, but the crazy thing was, I meant. "Oh darling I love you too" she replied. The show was crappy, I mean, even if someone in the play died, I didn't even care, it didn't make me sad or anything as I didn't get attatched to that person. During the interval we were in the lobby when some jerk in a suit Sally knew saw us. He came over and said "hi" in such a way you would think they'd been friends for years, when theyv'e probably only met briefly once. They started having this huge conversation about the people they both knew and it was all Blase. Finally Sally introduced us, his name was George something, I don't remember really and he went to Andover. I was all set to puke by the time they'd finished slobbering about. Even at the end of the next act they were acting all Blase about the Lunts. When we finally left, I thought the goddam phoney guy was gonna get in the cab with us becuase he walked a couple of blocks with us, but then said he was going for cocktails. With aload of phoneys probably. By the time we got in the cab, I pretty much hate Old Sally. She asked me if I was doing anything now, I told her no, probably the most truth I'd told in the whole night. She said lets go ice skating, so we did. She only wanted to wear one of them little dresses, she knew how good she would look. And she did, her ass looked so cute. So after a while we took our skates off and went to the bar for a few drinks. All of a sudden, I dont know what happened. I just asked her to run away with me and how grat it would be and I could get a job and we could get married, she totally rejected me, I don't even remember why I did it. She told me that we were only kids and it could never work. I just lost it and told he she was a pain in the ass. Dam, she started crying and I didn't know what to do. I said sorry, sorry was all I said, but she told me to go, I kept trying to apologise, but she was having none of it. So in the end, I did what she wanted, I went.

Little Shirley Beans

I started walking over to Broadway, there was this record store that was open on a Sunday and I wanted to buy Phoebe this record called 'Little Shirley Beans' I hear it when I was at Pencey and knew Phoebe would love it. So I bought it , they charged me 5 bucks but I didn't care. I knew where Phoebe would be so I started to walk towards the park near the mall, thats where she liked to skate, at the Bandstand. When I got there I couldn't see anyone around, so I asked this little kid if she knew Phoebe, she didn't look to sure, but then she asked me if I knew her and I said I was her older brother. Then the kid told me that she was in Phoebes class and that I would find her in the museum probably, the one where the Indians were. The kid was having a hard time tightening her skate, so I helped her. It had been ages since I had a skate key. So, I said thanks to the kid and asked if she would like to come with me and have a hot chocolate, but she said no thank you, she was a really polite little kid. I didn't feel much like going to the museum. I just remembered the times we went when I was a kid. All the different exhibitions wih the Indians, and the one with the Eskimo that was sat catching a fish and everytime you went, he was still sat there catching the same goddam fish. There were these huge glass cases either side, enclosing all the old objects. It made you think how even though the things in the cases stayed the same, whenever you went, you always be different. Liked have a different partner or something like that. Sometimes you wish some things could just be kept in a glass case and kept the way they are. I thought about that as I walked past the museum. I had that goddam date with Sally, so had to get a cab down to Biltmore.

Meeting the nuns

I didn't sleep much, I woke around ten o clock. I felt like giving old Sally Hayes a buzz, I knew she would be home cause I got this letter off her a few weeks back. So I called her. First of all, her maid ansewered, then her dad got on, then finally I hear Sally's voice. Sally! I said, she didn't know who I was until I told her. Holden! she said, she sounded pretty dam pleased. So I asked her if she was busy today and she said no. So I asked if she fancied going to the matine. Grand she said. Dam I hate that word. So I got a cab up to Grand Central station, I was kinda hungry by then so when I got there I found a little place and had Eggs and bacon. There were some nuns sat a couple of tables away from me, just having Coffe and Toast. It really did kill me when I was sat there with my eggs and bacon and there was someone else with coffe and toast. I asked them if they had a collection I could donate to, they said yes and so I donated ten bucks. I ended up having a nice talk with them. They were the really nice kind of people, we talked about books. Especially Shakespeare. I told them how much I hated Romeo and Juliet and that I think Mercutio shouldn't have died. They were very understanding, but in the end they had to go. I felt so dam stupid, I was smoking a cigarette and when they went to leave, I accidentally blew smoke in their face. I couldn't stop apologising. Dam I couldn't believe it. They were very kind about it and off they went.